Bffs

Summer and Marissa. Bo and Kenzi. Blair and Serena. Leslie and Ann. Lucy and Ethel. Jess and Cece. Elizabeth and Jane. Sarah/Cosima/Allison/Helena. Ella and Aeriana. Abbi and Illana. Poussey and Tastee. Tina and Amy. Shawn and Gus. Lisa and Chels. Girlfriends are like the most important relationship in the world. They define who we become. They anchor us to who we are and watch us change into someone new.

And they make us not feel so freaking alone. Like, yeah, I'm sitting here on a Friday night. Drinking alone. But it hasn't always been this way and it won't always be this way. Right?

Aw fuck. I know. I know exactly how this sounds. And you're right. I'm just in this stage. I have to wonder if anyone else has these stages? I wonder what anyone else thinks about at all.

How do I break this? I need to bitch slap this soul-sucking social slump. I need a friend. Someone, here, now, who will girlfriend with me. Bitch over drinks about all the drama in our lives that really isn't that bad and laugh at reality TV and tell each other we're still hot even though we need to lose an unspecified amount of weight and who the hell else will understand how much our wonderfully sweet significant other bugs us sometimes! And then we go home to our significant others and tell them everything we couldn't tell our girlfriend and are we really beautiful even we look nothing like when we first met???

I'm not trying to be shallow or ungrateful or self-centered. I know that I am so lucky in so many ways. I'm trying to be patient, to find a person or people who I can truly connect lives with. Just because it doesn't seem to be here yet doesn't mean I'm going to give up. But oh God, it fucking sucks in the process.