Guilt

Guilt. Aaargh. I am the QUEEN of self-guilt trips. I feel guilty about everything. Despite reminding myself (and having sweetiepie remind me) that its really okay, not a big deal, I'm doing the best I can --- I still like guilt trips. My most recent excursions:

Guilt Trip Numero Uno: $300

This is the amount I spent. On clothes. In one night. GUILT. Its a rare, rare, thing that I spluge. I am {generally} obsessed with saving money for mine and Jesse's cute future together. But every three or four months, I get an urge for new clothes... and this time I decided to buy quality jeans that will hopefully last awhile.

they. are. gorgeous. 

Or if not gorgeous, they certainly help me feel better about myself. And really, isn't that worth $300?? That's a pretty good justification, right!? Jesse also added his own justification for me, because he's sweet like that. He told me that I deserved it because I work longer hours at a (slightly) higher pay. That justification I should take advantage of while its still true! Since our goals involve him establishing a solid career so I can spend some time at home with our future babies, I'm sure the time will come where I'm adding little to our income. 

Guilt Trip Numero Dos: Babies

Speaking of babies... My sister showed me a path to another guilt trip I could throw myself into by reminding me I really need to visit my nieces/nephews more. She's right. Especially since

I adore this cutie patootie!

they. are. so. cute. 

And also because I love them so so so much. But despite her only living 25 minutes away (she thinks its 15. google disagrees. also, that's 50 minutes round trip), there really doesn't seem to be time to do so. Certainly not after an 8 hour (give or give a couple hours). And then weekends! Bah. Weekends are for catching up on all the sleep, cleaning, grocery shopping, bill-paying, and more work you didn't get to during the week. 

And as much as I miss them... sometimes its hard to get those cute little hugs and kisses... when it'll be years before I have little ones of my own to cuddle and kiss. Not that I want to rush that. I definitely know I'm not ready yet to dedicate 100% of my life to a sweet little child. But I know I will be ready, and I know that it will be 100% worth it. I just have to be patient...

Guilt Trip Numero Tres: Walks

For over two weeks, Jesse and I took walk/jogs around the neighborhood 3-4 times a week. I would put on my running shoes, tell myself YOU. CAN. DO. THIS. and be off like a turtle on wheels. And then *poof* motivation GONE. Its Thursday and I haven't gone once. Not once! Gah. What a disappointment. I suppose I just need to jump back in. 

I'll do that tomorrow. 

love,

lisapink

P.S. the word "guilt" looks so weird now...