Intolerant of Intolerance

"You tell me I am intolerant, but you are intolerant of intolerance!"

Believe it or not, that was, word for word, said to me as a criticism. Maybe it is. Maybe its a flaw. But its something I'm proud of. I'm judgmental as fuck. So this post is going to be awkwardly hypocritical.

Each human's range of experiences are mind-boggling narrow. The number of atoms in existence is infinite, and yet all we know are the many billion that make up our own skin. Every thought, feeling, every time we process any of our senses, we are doing so in a way that is uniquely tailored to all the bits and pieces we are made of. Absolutely, exclusively unique. And yet --- exactly the same. Because our skin is not made of anything different than every single human's has ever been. Our thoughts and feelings come from the same sources. We just don't have any way of knowing that in a personal, tangible way. To us, everything feels new and special and perfectly right. The way we think and feel is the only way to think and feel. Our skin is the only skin that truly makes sense to us, because it moves with us and protects us and is wholly familiar to us. Yes, it feels that way. But it doesn't make it true.

The truth? Hell if I know. I work my ass off trying to figure that one out. Here's what I've come up with so far. There are two types of truth. One is based on information. Science, facts, study, logic,  verifiable knowledge. The other is a personal truth. The truths that you feel to be true based on your limited range of experiences, they are the unidentifiable parts that do make us unique.

You know why the world is so fucked up? Because we forget that our personal truths are not true for any other person or being except us. Not a single one! It wouldn't make any sense for them to be, because those are the things that do make us unique. We get lost in our own uniqueness until we reach a point where it no longer makes any impact us, and we assume that our personal truths are universal truths. And when others don't act in accordance to our perceived universal truths, we get angry.

There are obvious examples of this. Racism. Sexism. Religious discrimination. Its 2015 yet painfully clear these still exist. There are also more subtle, seemingly innocuous and ordinary forms of this anger. When someone tells us they dislike our favorite band, we tend to get a bit defensive. Its part of our human weakness to react this way. Some people have decided that because they are not "racist" or "sexist," they do not discriminate and are not intolerant. Then you have a conversation with them about one or all of these topics: Gay marriage. Transgendered people. Low-income families on welfare or other government assistance programs. Polyamory. The use of swear words. Alternative choices of clothing/piercings/tattoos/hair styles. "Masculine" women or "feminine" men. Smoking/drinking. Who they believe gets to "their" heaven. Sexual preferences/kinks/activities. Minimum wage. And all of a sudden the only thing these "tolerant" people have to say are how stupid/wrong/gross/crazy/undeserving those other people are. If you have decided, in any way, that your truth is better than someone else's truth: you are intolerant.

Unfortunately too many people see intolerance not as weakness, but a reaction to be nurtured. It gets twisted from a flaw into the realest (possibly only?) evil humanity has ever encountered: deciding that others must live by the truth we have chosen for ourselves. This, at the root, is why world peace is a pipe dream.

I'll give you a the only good reason to be "intolerant" of people or behaviors. Are they -- factually, objectively, logically -- hurting any individual in any way? No? Then fuck off. There is no wrong or right beyond that. Don't hurt people. Don't be an asshole. Try to add some goodness to the awesome world we live in.

Don't be an asshole. 

That's it.

Tragically, one of the most common forms of intolerance stems from ignorance. It is easy to stay within those billions of atoms in close proximity to us and refuse to look outward. Searching to understand other people's truths is hard, painful work. It also the most incredibly rewarding experience we could ever dream of having. Embrace your unique human-ness by embracing all that makes any of us unique.

And if you are going to be intolerant or judgmental (as I can be): do me a favor and at least have some damn good (rational) explanations for being so.

love,
lisapink