sexsexsexsexsexsex

nsfw.
not suitable for work.
not suitable for anyone who would feel uncomfortable knowing SUPER intimate details about my life.


I'm lisapink. I'm passionate. About life, about love, about sex. lisapink. I know its cheesy. But it feels me. Lisapink is a color, did you know that? Or at least it can be. When I was young -- maybe ten or so -- I happened across a bottle of acrylic paint and the color was named lisapink. I fell in love. Prior to that I had "hated" pink: it was too "girly" and I didn't want to be a sterotypical anything. But this was ME. And then when you put it with black -- it is literally the color combination that describes me. Its strong as fuck. Its feminine. Its loving but also mysterious and badass. Its sexy and sweet and cool and happy and sad and basically not your average color combo. I'm not your average person.

I'm bisexual. Because oh my GOD sex is amazing. Sexuality is amazing. That feeling? You know the one. Its a moment of complete oneness with -- ironically -- yourself. But it is intimate. Not so much in the moment (or is that just me?) but after, I mean you're like -- wow. I just experienced this oneness with myself, and you were there! And you were experiencing the same oneness with yourself! That is so fucking intimate. Two people, just literally being... one... with themselves... together...

Okay. So yes, sex is awesome.

Jesse is too. He's really made me feel safe and secure in my sexuality. He's very supportive. We're both very open with our sexuality, both with each other and personally. There aren't secrets. He watches porn (if you ever say to me that porn kills love I'll punch you in the face). I masturbate to super random shit and he encourages me even though I won't have sex on the same day I masturbate (recently I may have experienced a second orgasm in one session... I'm not even sure, its so rare for me -- usually once I orgasm, there is no sexy-stuff in the following 24 hours).

Okay I keep trying to get to the point. Anyway, I like our sex life. We keep it fun, we keep it interesting. Jesse is a sexy man (I'm serious). But I would also like to have fun with a sexy woman. I started fantasizing about women when I was 16 or 17. I don't know if that's "old" or whatever. But its the truth. Weirdly they always wore jeans and no shirt. Boobs. But I digress. Well, not really. Because boobs.

I've kissed six girls. All of those are within the last four months (wow, I'm a slut [and its awesome]). Starting with a few days after I came out as bisexual. I've now made out with as many women as I have men - three each. And with one lady it went further than that. Not... far. But. God. It was amazing. I think some of it may be that, as a woman, its pretty easy to just let men lust after you and enjoy that and its sexy! But this was different. I was the one lusting. And it was so new! I can't even. I literally can't even. It was fun. And then there was this moment at the end... I was tired, drunk, happy... and I laid my head down on her chest and closed my eyes...

You know what my most recent fantasy is? Cuddling. Jesse is like, an olympian of cuddling.Its my cocaine. Lately I've had this nearly physical pull of cuddling with Jesse... and a woman.... at the same time. Yes, sex would be awesome. But even the closeness of a soft, caressing, boobie woman.... mmm. Okay. Yes. I'm bisexual. And I also crave physical intimacy (to get serious for a second, I think I trust physical intimacy more than emotional intimacy - its easier to trust a physical expression of desire rather than words - especially when words can contradict actions).

I am incredibly drunk right now. I could wait and review this tomorrow. Fuck it, I'm publishing.


love,
lisapink